I blame the parents!

[wendy]

Out on our walk this morning I witnessed this.....

A mum and her son (aged about 10) were walking of the field towards the road, she had obviously given up her morning to take him sledging. They were a good way from me when she must have said something to him, he then walked up to her and screamed and I mean screamed in her face " shut up woman I hate you" I couldn't believe my ears and at this point I would have taken his head of his shoulders.
What did she do? absolutely nothing! this was obviously a daily occurrence.

Now am I wrong to think this is not acceptable and a complete lack of respect and discipline?
What is our society going to be like in years to come if this is the way we are bringing up our kids

[MightyMouth]

How the hell did he ever get to the point where he thought that reaction would be ok? Sorry to all those non violent parents but I would have paddled his behind long before he got that bad!

[wendy]

I just cant believe she never turned a hair
I am the same as you, it would never have entered my kids heads to speak to an adult like that.
It is so sad that the skill of good parenting seems to be gone

[Theresa]

Sheesh even if you are a non violent parent there is no need to just accept being spoken to like that surely.

[wendy]

I admit to using smacking as discipline for the worst behaviour (at the time it was not frowned on)
I have friends who have young children now and they would never smack but they use other forms of discipline and as I see it now, it doesn't matter in what form it is so long as it is consistant, it will work.

[Meerkat]

My two are too big for me to give them a slap now - but boy ooo boy if they EVER spoke to me like that I would knock their blocks off

[Theresa]

I don't know whether I would smack or not had I children but that's beside the point if you choose an alternative method of discipline and it works then great...clearly that woman was not using ANY method of discipline and just from my point of view with working with kids, those that have no discipline at home are hell to work with as no method works with them if it is not being supported in the home.

[wendy]

This is it if a child does not know what behaviour is acceptable at home how will he know at school
I think we need to go back to basics with some people.
Surely this woman cant be happy letting him act this way

[Meerkat]

Cor just re read my reply and sounds like I used to hit them - I didn't, only ever smacked the eldest once when he was two and that was more of a reaction cos he ran infront of a car

But they were taught right from wrong and were disciplined

[wendy]

This is it you dont have to smack kids, just clear consistant discipline works just as well (like a naughty, step or chair)
I just think some people dont have the skill, brains, motivation or will to bring up their children in a responsible way.

[Pixie]

I agree with Theresa and Wendy!!

I think that a child of that age would suffer more if you took away things they have like phone, computer or gaming access and grounding them! It does make me wonder where he learned that kind of behaviour though.

[AngieBaby!]

I hope he hasn't learnt that behaviour off his Dad and that poor woman isn't just the household doormat / punchbag.:076:

[wendy]

Never thought of that Angie but this is all to possible

[lisalh]

We all got a smack as kids when we did something that warrented it and tbh I dont think it did us any harm - often the threat of a smack was enough of a deterrent.

I dont have kids myself but I do dispair over the standards of behaviour these days (bloody hell I sound old lol), as a kid I was respectful of all adults/authority figures and knew if I did something that they had to speak to my parents about there would be hell to pay. Kids nowadays seem to have lost all respect and the parents are just as bad. I believe kids should have clear, well structured boundaries that parents should re-inforce but I seem to be in a minority on this point.

I find myself not surprised that a child should speak to a parent this way more disappointed that there was no reaction to it iyswim.

Responsible parents seem to be in a minority these days which is a real shame, we have gone waaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy overboard on the whole Health and Safety/Politically Correct way of doing things and while I dont advocate violence, there are times when a short,sharp shock would prevent escalation of this sort of thing.

[MightyMouth]

Yip, I have to agree with Lisa. I agree with time out and naughty steps and such, if it works and you achieve what is necessary then fine. What annoys me is the old chestnut that people trot out that violence begets violence and as such, within a few generations you end up with some psychotic child abuser! I really believe that people who abuse kids physically, do so because it is in their genetic make up to be that way. Not because their Mum walloped the back of their legs when they were 10.

As kids, we were often given a smack by Mum, then Dad and on occasion even the neighbours.....because they were seen as part of your extended family. Your class teacher used the ruler and your Headmaster used the belt. Lisa is also right that even the thought of it was a deterrent. My Mum gave me some right backhanders (which I am not advocating) so I behaved (sometimes) and I never had any punishment at school because I knew what would happen.... so I behaved. Even taking all the smacks I managed to get in my childhood into account, I think I smacked Lou once and I cannot ever remember smacking Si.

The problem I have with the new thinking on smacking is that if the alternatives work so well, why are the youth of today the way they are? I am not saying all of them because this clearly isn't the case but morals, scruples and manners seem to be sadly lacking in many of them.