i'm back in here again...

[terri]

morning vc...

first really sorry i have not been posting much on here..just been really busy with one thing or another..and my doggies had all been well too...

but need your support and positive thoughts once again please...
i'll cut a long story short...
the last few weeks i have noticed..( yes yet again it my poor old Barnaby)...bless his heart..
as most of you know..this year has not been his year...diganoised with going blind, then had a tumor removed with mouth surgery, then all his bladder/prostate problems..which resulted in a castration for his health..)...:062:

as i said the last few weeks..i've just noticed something not quite right..but just can't put my finger on it..seemed a little stiff on his back end/back legs...but has coped well..been walking ect..and from what i have read..nothing really fits what i can't put my finger on so to speak...:062:

well last night we do walking in shifts...
done the first shift..all well..on return..we then go in and get the next 3..which is Barnaby, bella and mazie..
bella and mazie..came out fine..Barnaby..was not wagging his tail..or barking as he usually does..so i commented to hubby..oh his tail is down..he does not look happy..anyway..i jollied him along..tail still down..he trotted along abit..but then noticed how slow he was going...now barnaby is a big lad..always has been...and pulls like a train...so once we get over a road..hes always let off as he walks to heel by your side off lead..better off then on...
anyway..we carried along on our walk..hubby further ahead with the other two..and me getting slower by the min with barnaby behind..
so i decided to turn back..he only did one wee..which for barnaby who wee's for britian..this is very unusual...
on getting home..hubby followed much later with the other two...
barnaby just went really lethargic...reluctant to move....
( also found as the night went on..he could'nt get up or down the step outside, and can't get himself up on my sofa..where he normally runs up at it to get on it..)
so after a while..i thought..we'll feed him..( barnaby loves his food...)..and he woofled it down..trotted abit..but tail still nto wagging..and we thought..we'll rest him..and see how he is in the morning..now...
this morning..he trotted down the garden..ate a few biscuits, and he seemed ok......and now hubby has left for work...
and barnaby has gone all lethargic..whilst he is moving..he is very awkward moving..and keeps wanting to sleep...in his sleep..his lower end..his legs kick..like a spasm..hard to explain...
i'm so scarred to take him to the vets..as hes had so much happen to him in such a short space of time..hes so scarred of vets now...
as they always poke and prod him..and he shakes like a jelly..
but i also know he has to be seen..as he is really not himself...:062:
the only thing i can think of..he used to do a running jump up my coffeee table which used to be in my bay window in the loungue..but we removed it as his eyes are failing him and i did'nt want him to mis judge the coffee table if he could'nt see it that well...and he does love to look out the window...on his hind back legs...
i was wondering..if he has done something to his back or his back legs...i can manipulate them..and he does not yelp or cry...so i'm just really worried..
i'm going to phone the vets in a while..and make an appointment for later today...and will let you know later..
just needed to write it down..and just get some support...for a very worried cocker mum...
thanks for listening...
xxxxxxxx

[MightyMouth]

Aw Terri, I am so sorry that poor Monsieur Barnaby is poorly again. He really is in the wars isn't he? I know how worrying it is when it is one thing after another. Like you say, you have to go to the vets and find out but what a shame that you have only had such a short time of peace with your poor boy.

I really hope the vet can find out and deal with whatever it is, quickly and easily so you can both get back to normal again asap :075:

[terri]

thanks MM....
i can't and won't repeat how i feel at the moment...
gutted for barnaby is an understatement...
i know i have to cope with what ever the vets will throw at me..but its just so unfair..i love my dogs more than life itself...and i have tears that i just can't stop falling at present...
i'm off to go an make an appoitment for the vets now..
xxxxxxxxxxxxx

[terri]

just made an appointment..for later today....
wish my special boy lots of luck..he really is not a happy boy...
will update later today....
please send him lots of doggie positive thoughts...
xxxxxxxx

[MightyMouth]

Oodles of positiveness from me and the girls Terri. Please do let us know when you get back. Big hugs to you :075: (and a gentle wee squish for your beautiful boy xxxx)

[terri]

will do MM..xxxx
i just can't settle at present..
i know something is wrong..but i don't know what...
thank you so much MM for your kind words for my special boy...
will be happier when i can get him seen by my vet...
i'm scarred and worried...beyond all belief..but hopefully my vets can put my mind at ease and make barnaby well again..
xxxxxxxxxxx

[Tanya]

oh Terri, sorry to hear poor Barnaby is feeling rotten :( lots of positive thoughts here from me and the pooches - hope all goes as well as it can at the vets. Will be thinking of you both later :075::075:

[Nessie]

Poor boy - hopefully vet can help him feel better.
Keep us posted x

[Spangles]

Oh Terri I'm so sad to read about Barnaby again - hope all goes well at the Vets for your precious boy. Sending loads of positive thoughts, hugs and love from up here in Argyll:075:

xxx

[terri]

just wanted to say thank you for all your well wishes for my boy barnaby..
i have'nt got long to wait now..until we go to the vets..
not much change really...
as the photo below will show you below...
what i have noticed today..is he is wanting to keep going for a poo, which is hard has he is having difficulty to get around( this all came on suddenly last night)..which is not like him at all..the tail does not wag..and when i lifted it earlier...it made one of his back legs temor...so i really don't know what is going on..i'm so scarred for him and about going to the vets..
i know he has to go..but i'm fearing the worst...and i'm praying vets can put my mind at rest...
i have managed to get him outside..but hes not really interested..he has not wee'd since the one he done this morning..hes now also not drinking..so i have tried to prepared myself..that my vets may keep in in for monitoring..
i keep crying..and once i start i can't seem to stop...
i know i am always worried...but this time...i just feel something is not right..and i'm worrying big time...
this is how barnaby has been most of today..he will lift his head...then have a mooch around..then flop back down..and just wants to sleep...which is destorying me..as he is quite an active dog..
i have'nt got long to wait now..before i will be at the vets..please, please keep thoose healing thoughts and prayers coming for my special boy barnaby...
http://i291.photobucket.com/albums/ll287/terrig8/barnaby1762010002.jpg
xxxx

[Max]

I'm useless at putting things in writing & there's no point in me saying don't worry, we all worry about our babies, hope the vet can give beautiful Barnaby something & he perks up very very very soon. {{hugs}} for you Terri

[lisalh]

Thinking of you and Barnaby- hope all went well at the vets xx

[Sandra]

First time I've logged in today so only just seen this. I'm so sorry to hear Barnaby isn't well Terri, he doesn't look the same dog that was woofing and wagging at Monty and me on Saturday!

Goes without saying that we will be keeping everything crossed for you at the vet tonight, sending love and hugs to you all. Sandra xx

[Theresa]

How you doing hun? Sorry to read about Barnaby and hope it is something real simple that is sorted out quick as a flash xxxx

[Gwen]

Only just seen this. Hope the vet was able to help and that you soon get your lovely man back to normal. Hugs xx

[MightyMouth]

No news yet? Really hope all is ok xx

[terri]

not long back from the vets..was in ages..
a serious of tests..me and vets in tears...as they know what poor barnaby has been through over the last few months....
i'm numb , angry, upset..but i think deep down i knew it would not be something that easy ..it never is..
although nurological problems have been ruled out, which is good..it will be a life sentence for Barnaby..and one that i can only with the help of drugs and my vets..be one that i can make as pain free for him for the rest of his life....
my vet goes away..for a week now..so i have to wait for a week to get barnbays pain under control with metacam and tramadol..
then he has to have x-rays just to confirm how bad things are..
as i said i noticed this a few weeks ago..and feel awful for leaving it..but it wuld not have changed anything..
and in barnabys case..due to his size..surgery is not an option..
he has hip dysplasia....and possible a couple of fused vertabre/lower lumbar aswell...
so not only is my special boy sentenced to a life of darkness going blind..but now also a life of constant pain..with HD...
although i should feel releived it can be controlled...and is not nothing life threatening..i have tears..that i really can't stop from falling..
this dog..has touched my heart in such a big way..i feel so helpless and totally gutted for him..
to see him in pain the last 24 hours..has been heartbreaking..but one i know i will have to live every day of his life with him..
he has to have complete rest for a week, and only toilet duties on a lead..until they can find a combination of drugs to help him be pain free and comfortable..
i don't really know what else to say..i'm so, so sorry for pouring my heart out..but i know you will all fully understand how i feel right now..
and i also have to inform barnaby's breeder...
and i really hope this is now the end for barnaby..not sure what else can go wrong with him now...
thanks for all being here , for your kind words..and for helping me along..i may need you even more in the next few days..when all of this fully sinks in....
love terri
x

[Spangles]

Any news yet Terri? Praying that your precious Barnaby is OK

xxx

[Gwen]

awww, Terri, I wish it were better news. We went through a very similar process with our (OH's) springer. He was a big lad, too big for surgery but the metacalm and the other drug (can't remember its name but it may have been tramadol) kept him pain free for almost two years. He hadn't suffered the extra blow that you boy has, he could still see, but he did have a very happy life, right up to his last day. Think positive thoughts honey, now that you have started the ball rolling, your boy will be protected from pain for as long as you are there to look after him. Hugs to you and Barnaby xx

[terri]

thank you Gwen..xxx

[Meerkat]

awww gawd Terri - I am sorry

i have lived with a dog with HD and it does hurts to see them like this but once the right medication is sorted it does ease

Love and hugs to you both

[Freckle Face]

So sorry to hear this Terri. Hope you get the medication needed and Barnaby gets some relief.

[Spangles]

Aw Terri - you and I must have been posting at the same time.

Sorry it was not better news but at least you know what you are dealing with and with the right medication I'm sure he will lead a very happy and pain free life. I've know dogs with HD and they have led happy fulfilling lives although I must admit they were not losing their sight as is poor Barnaby. Barnaby has you to look after him - he is one very lucky boy. Sending love and hugs to you both.

xxxx

[Max]

Poor Barnaby :( Hope the vets quickly sort out the pain relief & he perks up {{hugs}}

[terri]

just wanted to say a big thnak you for all your kind words..
had a really bad headache last night..and had an early night..which i don't often do...
i think it was a combination of things..
i feared the worst last night..plus knowing and seeing what my barnaby has been through the last few months..
its just going to make him even more special to me ( if that is possible)..
i don't think i had fully come to terms with him loosing his sight...( and even now occassionally..i have to leave the room as i look at him and my eyes just fill with tears..)..
then to see him the last 24 hours..just laying there in pain and sleeping...( as you can imagine..breaks and broke my heart)..
at least i know now..and whilst surgery is not an option for barnaby..with the help of my vet team..i can make his life a pain free one..its alot to come to terms with..i will when its all sunk in...
he will still be my special barnbay boo bops...and i hope i can give him a life of quality...to still do all the lovley doggie things...we've done over the years...
he will be 8 in decemeber of this year..
if i'm honest..i know his eyes have been getting worse..and he has recentley started to stare at me..the middle of his eyes are going cloudy..so if his eyes are failing..then hes looking to try and focus...which is heartbreaking to see..so lots of reasurrance..and cuddle from his mummy..and he snuggles into me so close..( he could'nt get any closer..bless him...)..
and now with his hips...as i said it was all just too much to take in..
feel a bit more human this morning..after a good sleep...and the injection of drugs they started him on last night..although he is no where like he was..he is walking slightley better this morning..but is now back snorring and sleeping again..which is not a bad thing....then we start the metacam/tramaol tonight...and he has to have a full rest for a week for the medication to kick in...and only lead walks down the garden for a toilet breaks..
i should be used to this part..with harley and the 3 1/2 month no walks we had with him last year and his septic arthritis...
so it will be a day at a time...and when i'm finding it tough..or want a good cry..i'll come on vc....for some support...
once agin thank you so, so much for all your kind words...
if i could meet you all..i would personally thank you all...
terri
xxxxxxxxx

[terri]

Barnaby also wants to say a big thank you for all his messages for him...
as you can see he is looking a bit brighter than yesturday..so hopefully the medication is kicking in and giving him some pain releif...
love him so much...xxxx
http://i291.photobucket.com/albums/ll287/terrig8/banrnaby1862010002.jpg

[Nessie]

Gorgeous boy - lets hope he can relax a bit today!
Take care x

[Sandra]

Good to see Barnaby looking a little brighter this morning. So sorry to hear it's HD, sending love and hugs to you both - hope the pain meds help to keep Barnaby feeling a lot more comfortable. xx

[terri]

i feel like giving in...i'm back at the vets again tonight...:(
but with harley ( don't know if he is looking for smypathy...)..but we are right back to square one..when he was diganoised with septic arthritis..and he is on 3 legs..so i think what new cartlidge has reformed..has either snapped or hes done something..he had coped so well..no medication other than an odd bit of metacam and a couple of days rest and he bounces back..this time..is how he was when we first took him to the vets last year.....he was the one who had 3 1/2 month of no walks..while he recovered...)...
i really can't stop crying..it all feels like too much...
so i now have two poorley dogs..with mobility problems...:(
xxxx

[Tanya]

Oh no not poor Harley too :( So sorry Terri, you have a lot on your plate at the moment with them both don't you :( Glad Barnaby is looking brighter this morning and hope you find a good way of managing his pain. Hope all goes ok with Harley later and it's just a minor hiccup on his road to recovery.

Big hugs for you all :075:

[MightyMouth]

Oh Terri, how unbearable for you my friend. I can only imagine how you must feel just now. It must be awful to have more than one doggie ill at a time, not to mention tiring for you. I hope all goes well tonight and Mr Vet can help with Harley. The vet may not be able to cure Monsieur Barnaby but at least he can make his life comfortable which is the main thing. They are very lucky to have such a vigilant and loving Mum and that makes a difference to their quality of life too. Big hugs for you all and let us know what the vets say won't you? :075:

[Sandra]

Terri I'm so sorry to hear Harley has also had a set back - it was lovely to catch up on the phone, I'm just sorry it wasn't under better circumstances and you know you can ring any time if you need to off load (I'm not just here for the good times) so don't be afraid to pick up that phone chick.:075:

MrsMM has said everything I told you during our chat - they boys couldn't wish for a better mum, it is because you are so tuned into your doggies that you pick up so quickly on these things. Sending mega vibes and hugs to you all, keep us posted.:078:

[Gwen]

Oh Terri, I'm so sorry that you and your boys are having such a tough time of it just now. Take care of yourself honey, they need you to be strong xx

[Meerkat]

Awww Terri - loads of love and hugs x x x

hope things go well at the vets with Harley tonight

Thinking of you x x x

[terri]

thank you so,so much for your kind words...
harley did'nt want to feel put out by barnaby...and were just back from the vets for a 2nd night now..the vet receptionists..even got a smile from me..as she said..that chair over their i'm going to have your name put on it..
unfortunatley Harley's septic arthritis has flared up big time...whilst a limb amputantion is not on the cards it may be something to think about in the future..but that fills me with dread..and also vet was concerned the other good front leg is taking a fair amount of the load..with the other leg..so surgery maynot even be an option anymore..i know barnbay was diganoised with HD last night..and can only make life comftorable and pain free as i can..this is now apply to harley..he had done so welll and it is a year almost to the day this all flared up last year..so i know have two very poorly dogs..which are not allowed walks..only lead stretch down the garden..
its unforunate my vet is away for a week but the lady vet..is well aware of harleys condition..
and have been told if i'm worried over the weekend to phone her at the emergency vets as she is on duty this weekend..and if i would like a 2nd opion until nick my vet comes back..she knows of an excellent vet who specilisis in joints..just for my own peace of mind..so thought that was really sweet of her..
also..harley now has his own chemist, and will be on 7 pills a day for pain and for the septic arthritis.....hes also now on metacam, tramadol...and they have put him back on synulox for the septic arthritis..
so although its a bad day for harley..this is a major one to date..which i was aware could crop up at anytime..or even flare up..but the timing was all wrong with barnaby last night..so i know have to deal with it..and i will cope..i always have..but sometimes i just let things get me down..( sorry sandra..for the tears on the phone today..but i know you'd understand..and i feel awful..as it was not very proffessional of me..but really appraiciated that..so hugs to you sandra..)...
and hugs to you all for your support..and kind words...
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx and for all just being here to help pick me off of the floor and try to pick up all the pieces...

[Sandra]

Sorry to hear the septic arthritis is back Terri, poor Harley, but he is the most capable hands going - I still think he thought Barnaby was having too much "mummy time"!http://vocalcafe.co.uk/images/icons/icon11.png

Don't ever apologise for getting upset! You don't have to have your "professional" head on around me any more Terri you know that, I think of us as good friends now not breeder and puppy owner (hope you know what I mean!)

Hope the boys have a quiet and comfortable weekend, have a good nights sleep, things will be better tomorrow. S xxx

[Meerkat]

How are things Terri ???

love and hugs x x

[terri]

aw thanks Caroline..xxx

the last 48 hours i have felt i'm living a nightmare..and although i should be used to knocks by now..i must admit..this time it has really got me down..
i'm normally such a happy go lucky person and take it all in my stride..this time..i've just felt so alone and so helpless..
i've felt bitter,angry and so upset...that both my boys have had to go through more pain, because both have debiliating conditions....i'm only human...and just feel its a knock after a knock...
but i've picked myself up..(with the help of sandra & monty)...thank you..xxx
i've never cried so much over recent days...
but i have my positive head back on..and just have to take each day as it comes...
thankfully the rest and medication..is working it magic again with harley...and has bounced back well..
Barnaby its a more slower process..( and i almost dare'nt say this..)..but i think the painkillers are just kicking in..i know in my heart..there is a long way to go with barnaby, and there are going to be many more low and high days with him..and in time i know he will become worse..with the HD...there is no cure..( well there is but barnaby is not suitable to have surgery to remove the ball of the leg which fits in the socket...so its going to be a lifetime of managing his pain..but also making sure he has a qualitiy of life..and i just hope and pray...that i don't have to make any desion for many years to come..when his quality of life is no longer there..
this morning..i managaed a smile..( which i have'nt done for the last few days)..but was happy because barnaby wagged his tail..)..silly i know.but was just a nice moment to see him wagging his tail.so i'm hoping this means he is happier..and more pain free..and comfortable..he is still really stiff..and finding getting up a struggle..and i'm still having to help him with his back end up my back door step...but thats getting a little easier...
but its giving me hope again...that we are getting his pain management right..
i'm sure over the eyars there is going to be a lot more heartache to come..so i'm just going to take each day as it comes..and be stronger for both my boys on their off days..
i'm really sorry to off load all my pain, and heartache on here..and am so thnakful for the support and compassion you have all showed me...
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Sandra]

Good to hear there has been some improvement in both boys over the weekend Terri - fingers crossed Harley is soon back to "normal" for him and that this was just a slightly bigger set back than his usual ones. I can imagine your face when Barnaby gave you a little tail wag - what a good boy:078: - fingers crossed the pain meds are kicking in and I hope that between you and your vet you can get him on a dose that is right for him so that he remains pain free and comfortable.http://vocalcafe.co.uk/images/icons/icon7.png

Fingers crossed for a better week - keep smiling missus.:078: xx

[wendy]

Sorry I have just seen seen this
I am so sorry to hear both your boys are poorly I wish them both a quick recovery
keep your chin up you seem really down xxx

[MightyMouth]

Don't you ever worry about coming on here and off loading. That is what VC is all about and if we cannot help, at least we can sympathise with you. I am really happy to hear the boys are improving. It might be a long road but improvement is a good first step xxx

Mind and take care of yourself too Mrs :075:

[MightyMouth]

Hope the boys are continuing to improve Terri xx

[MightyMouth]

How are your babies? Are they ok?

[terri]

thanks MM...
(paws crossed)..harley has improved..with the help of his medication..
and i almost daren't say it...Barnaby is doing ok..but alot slower..
i know in my heart in time..and because he can't have surgery for HD..
he will get worse..(i hope i have many more years ahead with him..)....but we just have to manage his pain..and take each day as it comes..
it's an awful situation to be in..i'm constantley watching them..telling them to be carful..be steady..which is hard..with them being cockers..in their minds they feel fine..its their bodies that are letting them down...as again like harley..i'm living each day..trying to allow them to be dogs...but also trying to make sure they don't go mad..and set themselves back..
if only i had a magic wand to make both my boys well again..
i wish i could restore harley to full health with his septic arthritis..and i wish i could restore barnaby's eyes( which are now failing him ) and make his hips right..
unfortunaltey i can't.....
i have'nt breed either of these dogs..but it gives you a reality check..
all i can do is make each day a happy one..and each day..a pain free one with the help of my vets and medication...
i feel i'm living a very fine balance each and every day..allowing them to be dogs..but also wrapping them in cotton wool..as with both barnaby and harley the slightest wrong move..can just set them back again..
again both boys have gone for a little walk..but both struggle to get any where fast..and when barnaby has done excersise..he stiffens up on his back end..i don't know what else to say..no one can help me...you can only be here for me..
i can';t change anyhting..only love them more ( if that is possible..)..
sorry i have'nt updated..i've just got caught up with it all..
but there is some improvement..but i have learnt not to get my hopes up now..a good day is a bonus..and the bad days when my boys struggle..i have to take in my stridfe..and rest them..
its hard..and unfair...
but i do feel blessed to have them both in my lives...( as i do with all my dogs..)..it just makes these two..even more special..
my dogs bring me so much joy and happiness..but they break my heart too..
it is and proberly always will be one day at a time.....
and hope the HD....for barnaby is a slow progression.......and he'll have many more years ahead( hes not a youngster..but hes not old either..he will be 8 in dec)..harley( again not a spring chicken..but again not old either with turning 7 last month) septic arthritis..is a nasty thing..which will always flare up..its caused so much damage to the bone and his elbow, and the cartlidge..and again..i hope he has many more years ahead...
i'm also sorry if this post seems down..( beleive me it gets you like it at times..)..but i'm doing ok..and not down..just angry,bitter..and have to stay strong...
thanks for thinking of my boys MM...xxxxx

[MightyMouth]

Aww Terri I know how you feel. I spent 7 years watching Chloe like a hawk, trying, like you, to walk the line between letting them be themselves and protecting them. It is very hard I know. I am afraid I spoilt Chloe rotten to try and make up for the pain and trauma she suffered all day every day for all those years. I watched her like a hawk, always on the alert for the least little sign that something was wrong. At first it occupied my every waking moment but then I found (as you probably have) that you start to do it on auto pilot and don't even realise it! She was only two when she fell prey to AIHA so it robbed her of her life really.

Again I will say that they are very lucky boys that their Mum takes her responsibilities so seriously and you know and I know how much of a privilege it is to care for these special wee ones. I used to give thanks every day that Chloe was with us because I dread to think what other people may have done, faced with the hard work and mounting bills. I also used to tell her that she was lucky she had me or she may have ended up tied to some farm gate somewhere! She used to look at me as if to say 'No, you are the lucky one'.......and she would have been right.

I hope the boys continue to make progress and that they are comfortable for many years to come xxx

[Tanya]

Again I will say that they are very lucky boys that their Mum takes her responsibilities so seriously.....

Completely right MM - your boys are in the best hands possible Terri, you will give them the best chance for treatment etc and I hope they continue to show signs of improvement :075:

[Sandra]

Completely right MM - your boys are in the best hands possible Terri, you will give them the best chance for treatment etc and I hope they continue to show signs of improvement :075:

Me too Terri, the boys couldn't be in better hands, sending gentle hugs to them both and a mega one to you!xx