HUGE Dilema

[Alpha]

i have just had a call from the DWP about some outstanding child support for Max (the amount outstanding is £25182) I had thought that this had all been thrown out when she was 19 and left college.
I left her dad as he was violent and unfaithful. He has only ever made 3 payments and then messed the CSA around no end, as he did me it took me nearly 6 years to get my divorce from him.
The problem I have is I have 2 choices now do I a drop it and the file will be closed.
OR
They will now find him through his tax credits for his child or his NI number, the guy said there are loads of ways that they can track them down now. They will then put an attachment of earnings of 40% of his net wage until the 25K is paid off. If he doesn't pay 1st they will send in the bailiffs so his amount he owes increases and they will seize large objects like his car etc, they will also register a charge on his house so that any time he remortgages or sells he will have to pay me the amount in full if he still doesn't pay he will be sent to prison for 42 days and when he comes out he will still owe the money.
My concerns are one the guy frightens me and i don't want him turning up here one night and kicking off and 2 he has a child of 8 now and it may well be her that suffers as nearly half of his wages would be coming to me and Max.
However he has only seen Maxine about a dozen times in 11 years, he has never sent her a birthday card or christmas card. And he comes up here and stays with her cousin and then she is told after the event and is then hurt by it all. I have tried to contact him about 6 months ago and his MIL will not give me his details or pass across maxines mobile number as she thinks that her daughter will fall out with her for helping me to get Max in touch with her dad. The last time he had any contact he went a bit mad and emptied there bank account and left the country for the 6 weeks (interpol were involved and the MOD it was a right saga) whilst he was absent me and his girlfriend got on really well and I did my best to be a friend to her.
However when he came back she had him back and he has never seen Maxine since.
i really don't know what to do. I think that he should contribute to her, as they both (allegedly) have good jobs and live in a nice big house so they aren't short of a bob or two and i have had to struggle with all the emotional and financial responsibilities of bringing up Max and it would be nice to be able to help her buy a car or horse etc.

[lyn]

this has happened to a good friend of mine. her ex has an attachement order but all he does is work on the agencies for 10 weeks. it takes the csa a minimum of 12 weeks to trace them. i would be inclined to drop it to be honest. is it worth the grief you may suffer. my ex has always had really good jobs and i never got a penny. he bought them a present for xmas and birthdays but only because his second wife made sure. one day he, like my ex, will want to get to know his daughter and if she is anything like mine she'll tell him to sod off.
think very very carefully alpha, only you know what he is capable of doing if he gets angry.

[Michelle]

If it were me I'd drop it, you dont need this guys money and you certainly dont need to take the chance on him coming back into your life, what does Max think about it all?

[Aearoniel]

Max deserves that money (entitled to it), it could set her up for a long time (think house/flat deposit) even if you don't need it does she? What about her education, it could mean she doesn't have debt after what she wants to do be it college or Uni. If he comes after you there is always the police at hand.

[Alpha]

Max and I have had a long chat about this and she thinks that he should be made to honour his commitments.
her point is that he should of been a proper dad and that he shouldn't be alllowed to get away scot free that money will be a benefit to her and me. That at the end of the day he should be made to be responsible he should of paid when he had the chance then it wouldn't have got to this.
Its not the CSA doing this it is the "new tracing department" and they have a very good success rate.
I am starting to think that i should stand up to him and at the end of the day it is his own cavalier attitude that has got him into this mess, whilst he has been living the life of reilly i have been getting into debt to bring up Max

[Simon]

I think she's got a point. But don't forget - the police couldn't find their arses with both hands - so wouldn't count on support from them.

But make the sucker pay! Thats what I say.

[Pixie]

Don't drop it ...Go for the cash is what I say.. Why should he be let off the hook with his financial responsibilites? If you decide not to chase him it sends him a message that he has gotten away with it. Max seems to know her own mind and it would set her up like you say.

I was in the same position a few years back.. The csa got in touch about my ex husband who'd actually got a job, well briefly anyway. I decided that I wasn't going to make things easier for him, the least he could do now is shoulder some of the financial burden of raising a child ( ha, thats a joke in itself, I get £24 a month from his benefit money) I'm sure thats part of the reason why he has never worked steadily in a job cos the csa would jump on him in a flash. Oh that and the fact that he's a lazy arsed git!

[Jan/Billy]

oohhhhh what a dilema!

I'd be inclined to drop it, but then another part of me think why the hell should he get away with it! He should be made to face up to his responsibilities!

mmhhh tricky decision . Does he have a good steady job? If so do you know where he works? If so then you have a good chance of getting the money, however if it's a job where he can move about then it's likely that he'll just move. Plus he'll get a reduction in the amount he pays you if he has another child to support. You'll get the same money it will just take longer.

Don't let CSA fool you, they are a nightmare & don't know their arses from their elbows! There is every chance that they won't get you a penny.

[Alpha]

No apparently this is a new thing for what they classify as NP's and they take 40% of his nett pay irregardless of his circumstances it is not reduced from this figure ever. I get the impression you don't mess with these guys. It has been passed to them because the CSA was so crap and after 7 years of chasing him they gave up they had sent me a letter to tell me they had written this off. So this lot are a new gov dept set up to deal with this type of person. He will have to pay 40% of whatever his income is until the full amount is paid off it could take a decade or 2. But they can even attach the debt to his house so if it is sold the is a legal charge for the remainder that his solicitor will deduct from thr proceeds automatically.
The one thing that worries me a little bit is once i agree to this there is absolutley NOTHING I can do to stop this process once it has started. So if I say yes and then start to feel quilty or frightened I can't do anything about it. I am hoping he doesn't find out I had a choice......

[Jan/Billy]

The one thing that worries me a little bit is once i agree to this there is absolutley NOTHING I can do to stop this process once it has started. So if I say yes and then start to feel quilty or frightened I can't do anything about it. I am hoping he doesn't find out I had a choice......


Don't rush then, take your time to decide what to do.

[lyn]

if he has been violent before i would first ask if you can have panic alarms fitted and that he be informed they are there. honestly alpha, i would carefully consider everything about it. you have had enough crap this past few weeks. chances are he will do nothing but if there is even a tiny chance he will react then you need to be prepared.
what is this new agency? my friend will def want to know about them. she has been trying forever to get her ex to pay what he owes.

[Alpha]

i will give you the guys phone number tomorrow. But they only deal with cases that the CSA have thrown out (I also think they track their NI numbers and when they turn up they contact the claimant). As they have a 100% success rate of finding people and I don't think that is plausible if they haven't got the info. They can even track them from Tax Credit claims as this "One Number" ie your NI number is being used to monitor all of us now.
What with that and CCTV there is no escape.
The advantage is because the CSA were always trying to get him to pay that he will have no idea I have given agreement for this to go ahead and they keep my details safe.

[Jan/Billy]

Are they a private company then? Sounds a bit iffy to me to be honest especially as CSA is still the same. Can't see why they have two organisations doing the same thing?

[Alpha]

I have checked up today it is CSA & DWP and it has been set up just to deal with non payers...I think it is to clawback the monies the gov had to pay people on benefits but they have to deal with at the moment 36000 cases of which mine is one.
I assume what they will do is take back the maintenance they paid so that they can swell there coffers.
They are tieing up all the loose ends before they start the new "Agency" as they want it all looking good.
Thye also know that a large % of people will tell them to drop it for any number of reasons ie violence, absent parents has good relations with his kids, not much outstanding etc but believe it or not some women had her ex taken to court for £1300 it must of cost more to pay the solicitors.
I have double checked and I have no cost as it is all public sector and the costs will be added to the amount outstanding.

[lyn]

oh good, if he doesn't know that you are directly involved then take him for all you can :D
good luck with it all, i fear you may need it if its a gov agency recouping the monies owed. you'll probably get it all one day. in about fifty years :lol: :lol:

[bluegirl]

I'd be inclined to follow it up too. My friend is in the same situation and after reading this thread I wonder if you can tell me who she has to contact to get the ball rolling. Her ex owes her thousands and has just been taking the mick the CSA did nothing to help her cos he just never paid. He's a good job, owns his own firm, has 2 houses and posh cars, finances girlfriends and their offspring and hardly sees or contributes to the upbringing of his own son and knows my friend really struggles.

[Alpha]

I had thought that this was all over and done with as I had had a letter saying that "unfortunately there is nothing we (the CSA) can do now that Maxine has left fulltime education, that was 2 years ago..
The phone call on Tuesday was a complete bolt from the blue..the guy is called Barry Dutton and works from the DWP office in Lytham St Annes. They are having all the files sent to them and are working through them I assume on a date basis. They are trying to get everyting written off or sent on to solicitors so that when the new "CSA" agency starts next year it has a clean sheet so to speak. He said that there is very little work involved for them whether i proceed or drop it as they either send a letter to me confirming that i don't intend to proceed or they write to whatever solicitors they are using to start "legal" action.
i would get your friends (Lyn and Karen) to contact the CSA and find out how to get this department to work for them.

[lyn]

i am going to show this to my friend when she comes here on tuesday. i am also hoping she will join vc. so seeing normal people here(even if it is just you and me alpha ;) ) may convince her to join us :P

[bluegirl]

I've also told my friend and she said she's going to phone the CSA up this week as she would really like it chasing up.
Thanks Alpha. I've also told her about VC so she may be joining too.

[Alpha]

get her to join and PM me and I will help as much as I can.
BTW it was really nice to meet you today

[Nicola]

If there's no way he can find out that you are directly involved then I'd go for it hun, screw the tosser for all he's worth. Sorry, it's late and I'm about to go to bed so not at my most eloquent :lol:

[Alpha]

After a lot of soul searching I made my decision and decided to go ahead and see what they can do.
I will keep you all posted as to what happens next.

[Alpha]

Well i have just had a phone call from the DWP and as they sent Maxines dad a letter on 21st Sept and he has not responded to it they have this morning applied for an attachment of earnings.
The amount they will be deducting is over £400 per month.....and i should start to receive it from 19th November.
Bloody hell I didn't expect that...however he can still just jack in his job and go missing but I thought that all the stuff they had told me would yet again come to nothing.
So to all the people who contacted me about this for themselves or friends please be assured that they are doing what they are threatening...so any skinflint fathers had better take notice this time. As it would appear that the DWP do not take any prisioners and will exert the full force of there powers to recover the debts owed in maintenance..
I don't really feel like celebrating as I just keep thinking of all the stuff his other children will miss out on now, but our child will now be able to save for a car, horse etc...